When Angels Cry
by angel85qcca
Summary: Takes place in June 2008, when Jason catches a virus from a pizza man and is stuck in the Penthouse with Claudia and Spinelli.


**This happens when Jason, in June of 2008, catches the virus from the pizza man and is stuck in the Penthouse with Spinelli and Claudia.**** I wrote this a long time ago and thought I would post it here.  
Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters. They belong to ABC and the following is only a product of my imagination. I did borrow the virus storyline. Don't sue me.

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Jason could feel himself losing touch with reality. He didn't even feel like holding on anymore. What did he have to live for? His life was set for good, it seemed, and although he knew he had made the right decisions, it pained him to see the consequences they were having.

The fever wasn't coming down, despite Claudia and Spinelli's best efforts. Although he hated losing control, it felt nice to let go, for once. Let his mind go wherever it wanted to go. He wanted to fall asleep, or slip into a coma, and go to a place where things were easy, peaceful, and quiet. In his life everything was loud, complicated, and painful. He let everyone think that he was fine, but it was the farthest thing away from the truth. Getting up in the morning was getting harder. So was smiling. He was losing his patience more quickly. The things that used to bring him joy didn't anymore. Jason Morgan was having a hard time trying to find motivation to do anything, and living was looking more and more pointless with every passing minute.

He opened his eyes and saw that he was indeed in a different place. He could hear the ocean not too far away, the waves crashing on the beach. He could smell it, too, the distinctive odour of salt in the air that only comes from the ocean. The weather was warm, and the sun was setting slowly, as if in slow motion. The earth seemed stuck in that time between day and night, when everything is calm and soothing.

Jason got up and took a deep breath. It felt good to be able to breathe freely. He felt no stress, no physical pain, and there was an inner peace inside of him he had never felt before in his life. He wondered where he was, but he was afraid to speak up or move around, for fear that it would all vanish. He heard footsteps behind him, but he did not turn around. He was not afraid.

"My son," the person said behind him, "I have missed you so much!" He felt a hand on his shoulder and slowly turned around to see his father, Alan Quartermaine. "So much has changed in your life since I've been gone, and you must be overwhelmed. It is perfectly comprehensible. But you are doing fine."

"How can you say I am doing fine? I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I have handled everything wrong since the hostage crisis. And now I'm left with nothing…"

"Jason, you are way too hard on yourself! You have done the best you could, every single day. Maybe you feel that this is the end, but I assure you, it doesn't have to be." The old man started walking away, slowly. "It doesn't have to be," he said again.

Jason wanted to go after him but found that he couldn't move. What did Alan mean? Suddenly, Jason felt a rush of wind on his face. He closed his eyes and smelled a scent he hadn't smelled in years. Before he opened his eyes, he knew she would be there.

"Courtney," he whispered, as he opened his eyes. She was standing before him in a long flowery dress, barefoot, her long blonde hair moving with the wind. She smiled at him.

"Hello, Jason. It's nice to see you."

"How can you say that? After everything we've been through…"

"I loved you. And you loved me. We had a wonderful time together. But things weren't meant to end nicely between us. We both moved on, and we loved again. Life takes you places you never though you would go."

"Why am I here?" Jason asked.

"Our love was precious. All loves are. They are unique gifts. You can give love, but you also have to learn to accept it. And that can be the most difficult of all."

"I don't understand. I don't…. Am I here to stay? Or do I have to go back?"

Courtney smiled at him, and stepped over to him. She kissed his cheek softly then turned around and walked away, just as Alan had.

Jason was dumbfounded. He hadn't thought about Courtney in so long… Yet here she was. She had made him even more confused than ever. Jason knew love was precious. He had lost it too many times not to know. Did Courtney think Jason didn't know how to accept love?

Somehow he knew who he would meet next. But he saw not one, but two people. Two of the most extraordinary women he had been given the chance to know: Emily and Lila. They were both walking toward him, hand in hand. He had never seen Lila walk, or if he had, he had no memory of it. She and Emily were about the same height, and they shared an identical glimmer in their eyes. Jason's eyes teared up at the sight of them. How he missed them…

"Jason, my dear, why are you crying? Are you not happy to see us?" Lila said mockingly.

Jason opened his mouth to say something but found he had no words. He looked at his sister and a tear fell down his cheek. She had a beautiful smile, the one she could always use to get him to do anything she wanted him to do.

"Are you ready to hear our words of wisdom?" Emily said.

Jason nodded.

"Pain is a part of life," Lila started, "as is loss. Sometimes it is so strong it overwhelms you, while at other times you might think you do not feel any. But it is always there, with you. It changes you, shapes you into the man you will become. You have a beautiful soul. I know that will never change. But you have to fight, everyday, to keep it that way. Everyday is important, Jason."

He turned to Emily as Lila finished her speech.

"Love can give you strength," his sister said.

And with that, they were gone.

Jason wanted to scream. None of what those people said made sense to him. It was too abstract for him. Why couldn't they be straightforward with him? He closed his eyes and pinched his nose, trying to find the underlying meaning of all of it. He was startled to find someone there when he opened his eyes.

"Hi", the little voice said.

Jason ran to him, and took him in his arms. He could touch him, feel him, smell him, and hear him.

"Uncle Jason, I'm okay," Michael said.

"How? Have you been here all along? With Emily and Alan and Courtney and Lila?" Jason asked.

"We've all been looking at you. We can see you're in pain."

"Don't worry about that, buddy, I'm okay."

"No, you're not! And you need to stop pretending that you are. You know the things that are wrong in your life, and the things that are right. Only you can make it change, Uncle Jason, only you."

Jason bowed his head and was struck by how wise his little man had become. It humbled him, but he could not agree with his nephew.

"My life was fine. But I will be even happier here with all of you." Jason said.

"Only you can decide that," Michael said. "But you need to think about what you are leaving behind. "You have a son. You're in love with Elizabeth. And she loves you. And Mom needs you. And dad…. If you go back, you need to forgive him. You need him, Jason. No one will ever replace him."

Jason closed his eyes and saw Elizabeth with her boys. He could feel his spirits lifting instantly as he thought of being with them. He saw Carly and Morgan, reading a story on the couch. He saw Sonny, walking around his living room, tired and lonely. When he opened his eyes again Michael was smiling. He knew.

"I'll see you later," the little boys said.

Suddenly, Jason was cold. He was back to reality. All of his muscles ached and he could feel the heartache return. But there was hope again, somehow.

"The Grasshopper is glad to see that his Master has finally rejoined the land of the living," Spinelli said. "We were quite worried."

Jason sat up, slowly. He looked around his apartment but nothing seemed to have changed. He didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. Had he been dreaming? Hallucinating? He took a deep breath and closed his eyes again. A slow smile crept on his lips.

"Nice dream?" Claudia asked.


End file.
